looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
