what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
