I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize