he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
