Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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