so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
