; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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