Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
