If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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