I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
