When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
