I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i think i have two assholes
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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