There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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