Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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