The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
