If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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