did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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