Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
