Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
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It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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