I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
