If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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