Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
