let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
