i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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