Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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