I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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