my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
