oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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