I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Less talking, more tequila
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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