I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize