Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
