he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I believe in your delicious
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
