She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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