I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
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