If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
