Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
