What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
