Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
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Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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