And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
