the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just gargled with NyQuil
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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