if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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