Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
