she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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