Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
