Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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