i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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