her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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