Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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