I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize