I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
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My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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