I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
