She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
