Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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