Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God