fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night