There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
