We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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