Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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