More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
